Saturday, 29 December 2012

Riding the rollercoaster that was 2012......

2012 has been one hell of a year; it’s been a rollercoaster ride that’s for sure.

I have dealt with some pretty low situations throughout the last 12 months.  I’ve dealt with 9 months of bullying in the work place by a co-worker.  Like any newbie to the team would, I put up with it for months and just thought I was getting a hard time because I was the new person in the team and fresh out of university.  I would put up with the comments that I basically wasn’t good enough, I wouldn’t be expected to know what to do or how to act in certain work situations.  Then came the personal jabs and the high school drama where this girl appeared to make people in our team choose between me and her who they wanted to be friends with.  I don’t know what I did to deserve the treatment I got, maybe it’s because I didn’t feel the need to stick to this girl like glue, maybe I didn’t kiss her ass enough when I started and didn’t make her feel wanted enough.  Either way, I was subjected to some pretty awful situations but only a few people in my life knew about what was going on and thank god I had them for support.

The ending of friendships is also never an easy one, especially when you have been friends for so long but it is also sad that when all is said and done, you no longer had anything in common with that person.  It’s so tough letting go.  I struggled for months with letting go and some days didn’t feel complete because my friend hadn’t text me to tell me about her day or send me some witty comment or picture.  Even now I don’t think I have full gotten over it because we shared so much for such a long time.

My best friend’s mum has been recently battling cancer.  Finding out hit us all like a ton of bricks…when my friend told me I instantly knew something was wrong.  I could tell by her body language that something was seriously wrong.  I knew it wasn’t anything menial, this was serious.  It’s been an uphill struggle at times but I think we are getting there in terms of my friend being ok and also providing her mum with love and support.

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom though; I have had some of the best times this year too.  I graduated; with a distinction in my Masters…that’s the highest Masters you can get in this country…this girl is a smart cookie haha. That was a pretty great achievement for me…I had contemplated my PhD and becoming a Doctor but I don’t think I’m ready to hit the books and start a research project.  Maybe in a couple of years I’ll re-visit that but for now, I’m happy to be working.

Work is another big thing for me.  I know I have had issues within the work place but I can honestly say despite that, I love my job.  I don’t know too many people that can say that, but I truly love the work I do.  I feel privileged to work with the children that I do on a daily basis.
I have been on some awesome holidays in the past 12 months with some of the best friends a girl can ask for.  I love travelling and seeing new places and taking in all different cultures and this is something I intend to continue to do.

People who know me know that I love to have a good time and have spent many nights out with friends and having fun along the way.  I have added some, OK a lot of photos of the 12 months and the fun I’ve had along the way.  I have such great friends and I am so thankful to have them in my life.

Although 2012 has had some of it's great times it's also meant that I have lost my way a little.  I have completely given up for now on the idea of finding love, not even love, just that someone special to share life's highs and lows with.  It will hopefully allow me the opportunity to get back to being me.

I have also lost my way in some ways in regards to the things I love.  I am a swimmer.  Have been since the age of 4, I love the water and have been a "water baby" since my first swimming lesson.  I used to swim so much each week and I now barely do it.  I have decided 2013 is the year that I get back to swimming.  swimming is my time, it's the time I get to forget about the world and just let my stresses leave my mind.

I also haven't played my piano in months.  I love music and I love playing the piano and it has been something that I haven't done for such a long time...I need to rectify this. 

There are defining moments in your life that make you see the world a little more clearer and that has recently happened to me.  I now know I need to get back to being me instead of being the person I thought someone wanted.

As with all my blog posts I am leaving you with a song. When I first heard this song it had a completely meaning to what it has now.  This song means a lot to me at this point in my life and is really something that I can identify with.

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