Sunday, 3 February 2013

I'm walking away....

Have you ever had a friendship or relationship where things just leave you so confused as to what is happening and why it's happening?

One of those friendships/relationships where you feel you're doing the right thing...listening and recognising the other people's cue's and needs...you give someone space, you give them more attention, you act happy to try and pull them out of their mood even though you're frustrated at the situation you know they have created etc...but the one issue that didn't seem major at the time and really wasn't an issue drags on for a days on end?  No amount of asking what's wrong or how can I make it better or even no amount of trying to make it better, even though you don't feel you're at fault, nothing works!!  You get the blame for something you know you haven't done and never intended to do and that situation just creates unnecessary tension and hassle?  Someone insists they're fine but their mood and tone towards you is screaming something completely different.

I've been in one of those situations for the past couple of days and boy is it ever frustrating.  I mean it was a silly thing to start with but it didn't require the after effects that followed.  I have tried all of the above but nothing has worked to make it better and I am just at a loss as to what to do other than walk away!

This is something that seems to have cropped up every so often and instead of it being over and done with there and then it drags on and I want to scream sometimes, I want to say "stop being such a baby and grow the f*** up".  But instead I take it and just deal with the moodiness and shortness in messages or tones. It's hard for me because I care about the person but I just feel that I'm the target of their frustration for reasons that I just don't know.  They seem mask the true issue with something so trivial and I'm being subjected to being made to feel crap and spending my day wondering what the hell is going on while they go about their daily life as though I either don't exist or that I am simply insignificant.

The first time I was fine with taking the crap and the moodiness but the second time I am just feeling why am I even bothering?  Nothing I try makes a difference, so why bother with trying to make a situation the other person created better?  I don't know if the person usually gets someone fawning all over them and feeding their ego, mood, issue and they have someone pretty much begging them to be OK with them, but I'm not that girl.  I'm not the kind of person who will just take someone's s*** until they decide I'm worthy of their niceness again.

My life is stressful enough without dealing with someone's tantrums and moodiness.  I deal with children every day at work, I don't expect to deal with child like behaviour outside of work and within my own personal relationships...I don't know if I'm being tested by the person or whether there's something underlying going on that they're not telling me, but I have had enough...it's time for them to either tell me or move on from the issue and be normal....or simply not have anything to do with me.  That sounds harsh but I just haven't got the time, energy or interest in dealing with someone's tantrums and moodiness if they're not going to be fully honest about the issue or look to move on from it. 

Don't get me wrong I like the person, of course I do, or they wouldn't be in my life to start with and I care about how they're feeling but I'm at the stage where enough is enough and I say to that person....YOU WIN!!! This song is a good reflection on my thoughts and feelings right now...




aaaaaaaand breathe....it's out of my system haha...time to move on with the rest of my day!!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Caite xo

4 comments:

  1. I had a friend like that. After 8 years, I couldn't deal with it anymore and walked away. We've spoken twice in nearly as many years (both times when she showed up uninvited to my children's birthday parties), and I don't miss her a'tall. I did, at first, but I realized how much simpler and enjoyable life is without the nonsense that comes with friends which you constantly have to appease. Friendships take compassion and upkeep, not constant appeasement and silent ultimatums. ;)

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  2. I know what you mean. I have dealt with this in the past. It does happen from time to time...sometimes things change and friendships/relationships have to also.

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  3. Been there. I have a friend like that, we used to share everything and one day I realized she was too self absorbed in her own problems to care about my life, and would get downright nasty when I didn't want to listen to her anymore.

    Great blog btw, found you through the GFC blog hop!

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  4. I have been there too and its not easy but I can understand your frustrations, sometimes walking away is all you have left. It is also good to have a rant and get it all out, good on you.xxx

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