Boy oh boy am I feeling under the weather.
I went to bed about an hour ago and I spent all at time tossing and turning, getting frustrated that my body that is in such desperate need of rest and sleep will not actually rest and will not let me fall asleep.
I have struggled all day to breathe through my nose and the inside of my ear was itching that much that I made it bleed from rubbing and scratching away at it from the outside...not my greatest idea of course haha. I don't know what I thought I was going to achieve by trying to scratch and itch an ache that was inside my ear from the outside but it's one of those things that you just can't help a lot of the time.
I've now had to rely on waiting for the next hour while the Nytol tablets I have kick in and hopefully help me sleep. I tried not to use things to help me sleep and have just taken the usual cold and flu meds but I cannot go through another sleepless night.
While I was tossing and turning in the last hour my thoughts kept coming back to the big event happening in my life in just 5 days time...my eye laser surgery!!!!! I am looking forward to having it done because obviously it means I won't be reliant on contact lenses or glasses anymore but I am also starting to think about the actual procedure etc.
I think that because it has been roughly 4-5 weeks since I had my initial assessment and paid my deposit to have the surgery done it has given me a lot of time to think about it. I am trying to imagine what it's going to be like laid in the chair or whatever it is I'm in and seeing the contraption come near me, I try to imagine if I'm going to freak out when I'm in the chair and if I'm going to be a drama queen about it all haha.
It has been too long between the assessment and the day of the surgery for me, I think if I'd had the assessment one day and then a few days later had the surgery I would have been so much better. It would have stopped me from having all this time to think and stress about it.
I have tried to watch a video on you tube of the operation to see what is going to happen to see if it helps me but I get about 3-4 seconds into the video and kinda get all squeamish and turn it off haha.
There's no doubt in my mind that this is going to be the best thing for me but its the whole not knowing that is getting to me and the wanting the day to be here and for it to be done that I actually want to be over. I have spoken to a number of people who have had the surgery or know someone close to them who have had the surgery who say its the best thing they did and I agree with them but until I've had it done I think it's going to be only mind.
I think it's time to see if these Nytol tablets are going to work for me because I desperately need sleep haha.